


Conversation in a Cupboard

by YYHfanKB



Series: A Series of Oddly Placed Conversations [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 22:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10649298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YYHfanKB/pseuds/YYHfanKB
Summary: Sherlock and John get stuck in a very tight spot, much broom whacking ensues, well, as much as a small space allows.





	Conversation in a Cupboard

"Sherlock?"

"Yes John?"

"Remind me again why you didn't call Lestraude?"

"It was unnecessary at the time."

"So basically you wanted to impress Lestraude again, only this time we ended up losing the fight?"

"I didn't know that big guy was going to come out of nowhere!"

"…"

"Mycroft will realize we're missing within twenty-four hours at least so we'll only be in here for forty-eight hours max."

"We're in a broom cupboard Sherlock. It's a bit of a tight fit for both of us to spend that long in here."

"I'm sure we'll come to some sort of arrangement."

"…ouch…"

"John, what's wrong?"

"I think one of those thugs nicked me with a knife, it doesn't seem too bad and the bleeding has stopped for the most part but it needs to be cleaned soon."

"Oh…"

"Let's hope someone misses us soon."

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"I just remembered I told Mycroft off the other day and he wasn't too happy with me…"

"So you're saying we aren't exactly on his priority list right now."

"Pretty much."

"Great, just great."

"…"

"Sherlock?"

"Hmm?"

"Got any ideas on how to get us out of here?"

"Not really, I heard them push something heavy in front of the door so the likelihood of us busting out is minimal, and since neither of us have anything useful on hand for breaking open a new back door we are unfortunately stuck."

"Lovely."

"Not that we'd have the necessary space to swing a hammer in here but it would be nice to have something."

"I think I'll take a nap, wake me if anything interesting happens."

"Right."

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

"John?"

"M?"

"John, wake up."

"Wha? Sherlock? Where are we?"

"Broom cupboard remember?"

"Oh yeah... What's wrong?"

"My legs are cramping, I need to sit a while, can we trade?"

"Yeah, we can try."

*thump* "OW! John, that was my SPLEEN!"

"Sorry Sherlock." *thwack*

"Watch it, that hurt!"

"It's not my fault you knocked the broom over!"

"Yeah well I can still blame you."

"Me? Why me? I'm not the one that didn't tell Lestraude where we were going."

"Shut up..."

"..."

"Hey Sherlock?"

"Yes John?"

"Are you ok?"

"As ok as I can be locked in a cupboard with you."

"...at least I'm not Sally."

"Good point."

*silence descends temporarily*

"Any idea how long we've been in here?"

"Nope, no phone on me remember? Don't you have a watch on you John?"

"No, it got knocked off during the fight I think."

"Ahh..."

"It's probably broken."

"What a pity."

"It was my third watch this month, you destroyed the other two remember?"

"It was in the name of science!"

"Sure it was."

"It WAS!"

*thump*

"ARGH! The broom just hit me again!"

"Ha ha."

"Oh you think that's funny do you John?"

"Yes, I find it absolutely hilarious that you have been bested by a broom twice n-" *thwack*

"..."

"Was that truly necessary Sherlock?"

"Yes."

"If things weren't so tight in here I might retaliate, but I think that will have to wait until later."

"Agreed, say John?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I have a bruise forming where that broom hit me in the head."

"..."

"Really, I think I do have a bruise forming."

"I'm sorry."

"... No you're not."

"You're right, I'm not. You deserve it for gettting us into this mess."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone where we were going, you're right, it was irresponsible and I'll try not to do it again."

"..."

"John?"

"Who are you and where is Sherlock Holmes? You never apologize, did that broom hit you harder than I thought?"

"I'm still me John, I'm just confessing that even I occasionally make a mistake."

"I wish I could have that recorded."

"If you did I'd have to kill you."

"You wouldn't kill me, you'd miss me too much."

"..."

"Besides, I'm more fun to have around than the skull aren't I?"

"True, you are a better listener than the skull... He always ignores me."

"..."

"I wouldn't kill you John, I honestly like you too much to something like that."

"I didn't think you liked anyone."

"You're the exception to the rule."

"You never make exceptions."

"Only when it comes to you John."

"..."

"Oh, John?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for putting up with me."

"What else am I here for?"

"Getting the milk when we're out?"

"..."

"Well it's true, that's something that you're incredibly useful for."

"Gee thanks."

"What? I meant it as a compliment."

"Sure."

"I think I'll take a nap now if that's all right by you John."

"I'll wake you up if anything happens."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sherlock, wake up."

"Wha?"

"I think we have company."

"Oh please no, this place is too tight as is."

"I didn't mean someone else in here with us, I meant there's someone outside."

"Oh..."

"Think we should yell?"

"Yes, on the count of three, 1... 2... 3!"

"HEY! SOMEBODY HELP! We're in HERE!"

*pounding on the door*

-muffled voice-

"IN HERE!"

-the voice gets closer and a scraping sound is heard then the door opens-

"Greg!"

"John, what are you two doing in here?"

"Sherlock made a mistake, and it cost us."

"I did no such thing."

"Well we found you guys thanks to an anonymous tip that said we'd find evidence here."

"Whatever, we're finally out of that cupboard!"

*thump*

"OWW! The broom hit me AGAIN! John, I blame you for this."

*Greg snickers*

"It's your fault Sherlock, not mine that the broom keeps hitting you."

"Whatever."

"Wanna go to Angelo's?"

"..."

"I'm starved, so whether you so yes or not I'm going Sherlock."

*John walks away*

"I'm coming!" *Sherlock all but sprints to catch up to John leaving Greg to stare after them*

"Well, at least we got them out before they went too crazy."

"Agreed, dinner inspector?"

"Sure Mycroft."

**Author's Note:**

> This work was originally posted on Fanfiction as well, its a fun little comedy piece. -KB


End file.
